The Art of Selective F*ck-giving: A Therapist’s Journey with Mark Manson’s Masterpiece

As a straight-talking, no-nonsense therapist from Minnesota (that’s right, where the winters are long and the summers are hot and humid), I do my best to offer up candid advice, motivational pep talks, and a healthy dose of reality checks to my clients. I’m a bit like your favorite tasty dish, offering a kick that wakes up your taste buds and makes you crave more.

Now, you might think therapy is all about digging into your past, and sure, that’s part of it. But it’s also about finding your groove in life, choosing your battles, and knowing when to give a f*ck, and when to reserve your precious f*cks for things that truly matter. This is where Mark Manson’s “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck” comes in. 

I first cracked open this book when it hit the shelves in 2016, and I just couldn’t resist diving back into it recently. It’s a little like re-watching your favorite sitcom – it doesn’t get old, and there’s always a new nugget of wisdom to gain. 

One of my favorite parts of the book is the story about two runners. Runner One laces up her shoes and bolts off to run a marathon because she wants to. Runner Two, on the other hand, finds himself running because there’s a gun pointed at his back (a tad dramatic, I know, but stay with me). Both are running, but who do you think is having a better time? Bingo! The one who chose to run. That’s the magic of choice and perspective, folks!

To put it simply, this book was a paradigm shift. It reframed the way I perceive happiness and struggle. It reminded me that happiness isn’t about being carefree or simply evading pain; it’s about finding something meaningful that’s worth the struggle. 

So, here’s the million-dollar question: Are you running your life marathon by choice or at metaphorical gunpoint? If you’re feeling more like Runner Two, especially if you’re stuck in a high-conflict situation – say, a tug-of-war with a co-parent or an ongoing battle with one of your parents, remember that you can choose your race. You’re not just a victim of your circumstances.

Embracing this philosophy has not only made me a more effective therapist in high-conflict situations, but it’s also kept my sense of humor alive and kicking. Trust me, if we can laugh about life’s struggles, we’re already winning half the battle.

So, if you’re craving a therapist who’s as direct as a Minnesotan winter is cold and who’ll motivate you like a personal cheerleader at a high-stakes football game, reach out. Together, we can figure out which battles are worth your time, energy, and precious f*cks. 

Remember, we all have a marathon to run. The good news is, we get to choose the route, the pace, and the running shoes. So, let’s choose wisely and make sure we’re running towards something worth fighting for, with running buddies and cheerleaders who remind us to walk the water stops.