The No-BS Guide to 2025: It’s Ok to Put Yourself First
Let me paint you a picture: It's 11:59 p.m. on December 31st. Somewhere between confetti and questionable countdown enthusiasm, I'm supposed to be clutching a champagne flute like a classy adult. But no. I'm standing there with a Diet Coke in hand because, honestly, Diet Coke is just better than champagne, and this is the hill I'll die on. Sure, the caffeine will have me up all night peeing, but it's a holiday, and I'm committing. Meanwhile, the world expects us to forgive, forget, and glow-up by January 2nd. Honestly, I'm just wondering how long holiday leftovers are good for, and how much longer until I can go to bed??
Here's what I know as a therapist: real change doesn't happen because the calendar flips over. It happens in those small moments when you decide to do one thing differently—like eating mozzarella pearls with balsamic glaze for dinner (who knew that was even a thing?) and choosing not to feel guilty about it.
This year, I'm proposing something different. Something unapologetically selfish.
This Is for My People:
The ones whose anxiety is simultaneously their superpower and their kryptonite—like me, overthinking the perfect way to phrase a text for so long that I just send "Sounds good!"
The permanent best supporting actors in everyone else's life drama—the ones who can talk anyone through a crisis but struggle to ask for help opening a jar.
The ones who've turned emotional attunement into an Olympic sport—constantly scanning for what your kids need, what your partner needs, what can help your ex-husband be better for your kids, and whether you reminded everyone to call Grandpa for his birthday.
Anyone who became the adult they needed when they were younger and now can't stop being that adult for everyone else.
Let's Talk About Radical Acceptance
Here's what I'm focusing on this year: radical and everyday acceptance. Not the kind where you pretend everything's fine, but the kind where you look at your life—the good, the messy, and the "why am I like this?" moments—and say, "This is where I'm at right now, and that's okay."
Let me break this down: You know those days when the universe seems to be testing your last nerve? When your favorite sweater has a hole in the armpit, your coffee ends up on your shirt instead of in your mouth, and you're sitting in traffic wondering if your first meeting of the day is at 9 or 10 a.m.? That's exactly when radical acceptance comes in handy.
It's not about approving of the mess or giving up on making things better. It's about acknowledging reality exactly as it is—imperfect, chaotic, and sometimes featuring you eating Lucky Charms for dinner because that's just where you're at right now. (And yes, I'm speaking from very recent experience. Thank God there was milk in the fridge.)
This kind of acceptance is actually a powerful tool for moving through difficult experiences. When you stop fighting reality and wishing things were different, you can put your energy into what truly matters.
The 25-for-25 List:
Your Roadmap to Self-Support
This idea was inspired by the brilliant Gretchen Rubin (check out her work at gretchenrubin.com—she's amazing). Since 2021, I've been putting my own spin on it, making it less about self-improvement and more about self-support.
Here's the magic: when you write down 25 specific things you want to do this year—just for you, not for anyone else—something shifts. It becomes a commitment to yourself, a way of saying, "My goals matter too."
Your list can include anything that matters to YOU:
Professional goals (like my "book three speaking gigs" for this year)
Practical adult stuff (shoutout to 2022's "find an attorney and make an estate plan"—not sexy, but damn, it felt good to cross off)
Self-care disguised as productivity (like my "take a solo work retreat to actually get things done")
Adventures that terrify you just enough to make you feel alive (hello, jetski of 2023!)
Finding a doctor that specializes in perimenopause and making a damn appointment (because the night sweats are making me crazy—hello, mid-40s!)
The Math That Actually Supports You
Here's something amazing about this list: even if you finish 60% of it, you've still knocked out 15 things. That's 15 times you said "Yes!" to yourself instead of proofreading someone's email at 11 p.m. or FaceTiming a friend to help pick an outfit for their new boyfriend's work holiday party.
No pressure to do everything at once. Just steady, intentional progress toward being the person you need in your own life. Some months you might crush three goals, and others you might manage just one. Both are perfect because this isn't a race—it's a journey of showing up for yourself.
Each time you cross something off this list, you're not just completing a task—you're proving to yourself that you're worth the investment of time, energy, and sometimes even discomfort. You're building a track record of following through on promises to yourself, and that's incredibly powerful.
The Real Talk
Some days, just existing feels like a big ask. Showering? Forget it. Whether you're managing three different crises before your first cup of coffee, trying to figure out who you are beyond your to-do list, or processing life changes you never saw coming—it's a lot.
Here's what I know from both sides of the therapy couch: nobody's life is perfect, and anyone who tells you they have it all figured out is either lying or selling something. Usually both. But there's immense power in accepting where you are while working toward where you want to be.
Your Permission Slip for 2025
If even ONE tiny part of this resonated with you—if you've ever googled "how to not feel guilty about doing nothing" at midnight—know that you're not alone. Let's make 2025 the year we stop apologizing for eating Lucky Charms for dinner. Or, if nothing else, the year we stop pretending to enjoy quinoa.
Your anxiety might be your superpower, but even superheroes need to refuel sometimes. And if you need help figuring out how to do that without dropping all the balls you're juggling? That's exactly what I'm here for. Your story matters, your struggles are valid, and yes—you absolutely can eat Lucky Charms for dinner sometimes.
Let's make 2025 the year you stop apologizing for taking up space and start celebrating your perfectly imperfect journey.
A special thank you to Gretchen Rubin for the inspiration behind the 25-for-25 list concept. Visit gretchenrubin.com to discover more about designing your best year.
#RadicallySelfish #TherapistLife #25for25 #BoundariesAreSexy #NoBS2025
